It meant that he was half insane and half god

Tulum is one of those towns I decided to live a normal life for a little while at least. It’s fairly touristy (but no Cancun), but still quite cheap. I bought a package of cheese, a loaf of wheat bread, a juice box, shampoo, and an avocado for $5. And I got a filling replaced and two others repaired for $100. I’m not sure if I needed all that, but she was pretty so I trusted her.

While they worked on my teeth I watched a show about sharks. Which I think is pretty smart, because the only thing scarier than dentists are sharks, so you’re sitting there scared about the whole tooth situation and sit up and see a shark and you’re like, well at least there aren’t sharks.

My hotel room has great wifi, a balcony, two beds, and a kitchen with burners, a microwave, and a refrigerator. So it’s nice to be able to cook and work out a bit again. The burners are rather sketchy and I feel like I’m setting myself on fire whenever I use it. I’ve taken to lighting a match and just throwing it at the gas. It’s worked really well, but it feels like maybe something I shouldn’t do?

Due to a productive week, I decided to take Thursday afternoon and bike to the beach. Maybe write some copy. Here is said beach.

Life is hard
Life is hard

I lasted about 20 minutes before getting bored and walking around a bit before going back. Seriously, how do people sit at the beach?

Mexico is topless-friendly, and unsurprisingly you can see that in full force if you walk by any beachfront yoga retreat.  If you’re lucky you’ll glimpse a couple swinging, well-tanned dicks as well.

But then it was time to move on, so I took a collectivo from Tulum to Playa del Carmen to spend a night there and see how the other side lived. It was much more American than I expected, from Starbucks to H&M and horrible beach parties. I’ve mentioned I hate the beach, right? Here’s a stretch without a ton of people that I still hated.

Playa del Carmen
I can sit in a chair and not do anything anywhere

Skipped the party scene (my hostel was quiet anyways), and left early the next day for Cancun. I walked through the city but skipped the tourist strip (I’m sure it was even worse than Playa) and jumped on a ferry to Isla Mujeres.

Ferry from Cancun to Isla Mujeres
In case you forgot what water looks like

Isla Mujeres is touristy too, but it’s smaller. I can process it, at least. And while the main attraction is still the beach, I’m able to relax in my own world a little bit more.

So I read. I sat on the beach a little. I cooked my own food in the hostel. I had drinks with a Canadian guy (~60), English woman (39), and German girl (26) to complete the most diverse group I’ve hung out with. German girl and I rented bikes and circled the entire island.

Ultimately I decided not to go diving. The underwater musuem looked rather underwhelming, and while I could have just done a reef dive, I was content not paying $80.

Then I went to Cancún for a day. Stayed in a really nice hostel – $13 and it included both breakfast and dinner. Nice group of people there, and it was well outside the party area, which was to my liking.

From there I hopped over to Valladolid. I figured while being in the Yucaton, I should probably see Chichen Itza. But the first night I went to see a light show projection on some building in the quaint, but bustling city with the English lady and a new Canadian girl who lives in Mexico City. It covered the history of Valladolid.

Valladolid apparently had trains
Valladolid apparently had trains
And Jesus
And Jesus

The next day was the big tourism day, so I did all of the things with them that we’re supposed to do. Here are pictures of those things.

Chichen Itza
We got to Chichen Itza early, before the Cancun tour groups
Chichen Itza again
There’s no food inside. Missed opportunity to sell Chichen PItza. Or Chichen Pitas.
The Snail
The Snail, which I believe is just a petrified dinosaur egg
Resting in the shade
Resting in the shade. Took a picture to rationalize it.
Long pants and an umbrella? What is this?
Stole some tour guide knowledge here
Stole some tour guide knowledge here
Serpents. Lots of serpents.
Serpents. Lots of serpents.
The emperor throne at the Quidditch quarter
The emperor throne at the Quidditch match area

You couldn’t climb anything here like at Tikal and Copan, which was a disappointment. All the signs told us what was inscribed or carved into the tops of them, but quite frankly I didn’t believe them. A “procession of jaguars” isn’t a real thing.

But whatever, it was cool running the gauntlets of tourist stalls to catch some glimpses of places where people were ruthlessly sacrificed. Maybe not ruthlessly I guess, it could have been politely done, most of their records are conjecture.

There were also a couple cenotes near Chichen Itza, so we checked those out as well. This one (Sacred Cenote) you could only look at, which is just as well, because it’s a strange color and looks like a failed science experiment. Also, lots of people were sacrificed and thrown into here.

And the ninja turtles were born (sacred cenote)
And the ninja turtles were born

Down the road was one that looked a bit more impressive. We went for a swim in it and jumped off the ledge and whatnot.

Roots, without Jimmy Fallon
Roots, without Jimmy Fallon
I jumped in from the cliff because I'm awesome
I jumped in from the cliff because I’m awesome
Cenote Ik-Kil
Cenote Ik-Kil

The hostel in Valladolid was also really nice. Great free breakfast, lots of space and a kitchen, and in a pleasant area in town. Explored the streets with Canadian girl later, but no real highlights. The cathedral and square were cool I guess – reminded me of Antigua.

And then I decided not to go home. So I flew to Guadalajara instead. 2 1/2 hour bus ride to Cancun, 1/2 hour bus ride to the airport, printed the boarding pass, checked in, and made it to the gate just as the line was dissipating. Nothing like cutting it close.

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